I didn’t mean to write this

I didn’t mean to write this

damn it, phandom

(Danny’s ghost speak actually all translates because I’m a dork, if anyone asks for a key/full translation I’ll post one)

I Can’t Hear You, You’re Shouting Too Loud

“Kosi, pcxaay, G’bml’r rfgpg rfgi gi x’immb gbcx!” Danny protested, digging his heels into the ground as Sam hauled on his arm. Wait a minute- Turning his feet intangible for a moment, he literally dug his feet into the ground, forcing Sam and Tucker to turn and talk to him.

“We’re running out of options,” Sam said flatly, “And if he hasn’t had this problem in twenty years, then he’s got to have something he can tell us.”

“Smo bml’r pcxaay qlmz fc fxil’r jxb rfgi npmyace,” Danny muttered, reluctantly floating back to level ground.  “Dmp xaa zc’qlmz fc bmcie’r zpgrc gl Clkagij.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Sam conceded. “But he doesn’t still have to worry about passing high school!”

“Sam, I still want to know how you’re doing that,” Tucker muttered, digging for the Ghost Gabber in his backpack. “Even this thing is having trouble now, how are you still translating?”

“Facial expressions mostly,” Sam answered absently, climbing into the Spectre Speeder. “That, and I know that sulka- sulfa- cealka- whatever that last word was, it means English.  Now come on!”

“Mf iopc, Tucker jxl inxyq dpcxqglk Cibcpxlru yor lmr Kfmir,” Danny muttered to himself, slumping back in his seat. “Smo’rzm qlmz axlkoxkci fxtc kmr rm yc mop mlc jmeeml rxacpr, pgkfr? G’ecxl ycibci rfc kfmir folrglk? Zfxr exqci cgrfcp md smo’rfgpg Vlad gi kmhlk vm kgtc oi’xlsrfglk zc’jmoabl’r fxtc zmpqcb mor ml mop’mzl? Bxop gr!”

Tucker had the Ghost Gabber out, but sighed as it fizzled half-heartedly with bits of Danny’s speech.

“Esperanto…  Ghost… fear me… languages… got to… be common… fear me… fear me… Vlad is… worked…ourselves… fear me,” the electronic voice crackled and grew fainter.

“Great,” Tucker said. “It’s done, guys. Congrats Danny, you’ve outgabbed the Ghost Gabber. And I still have no idea what you just said!” He threw up his hands, narrowly missing hitting Sam.

Vlad,” Danny growled, following up with a slashing motion. “Xr acxir lxeci irsnn rpxliarc!”

“…I’m gonna go with yet another let’s-not-talk-to-Vlad. Noted, and we’re still going,” Sam said, activating the Speeder and opening the Ghost Portal.

Danny crossed his arms and sulked openly now. “Gd G’bml’r fxtc x’jfmgjc gr zmoab fxtc yccp dxircp rm’km ys esicad.”

Neither of his friends responded, so he assumed they hadn’t gotten any of that.

“Dude, it’s been three weeks since you said anything in English, besides our names, which don’t really count,” Tucker pointed out.  “It’s been way longer since you wrote anything in it. This isn’t going to go away on its own!”

Actually, Danny was still holding desperately onto a faint hope that it would, but he didn’t bother replying. It wouldn’t be in English anyway, so what was the point? He’d even tried talking to Sam and Tucker in Esperanto in desperation, but that had only lasted a few hours before that, too, had drifted into Ghost. He still didn’t want to see Vlad, but they’d finally worn out the Ghost Gabber, and it wasn’t like he’d been able to use that at school or with his parents anyway.  What else was he going to do, go find Clockwork and ask if he wanted a part-time job as a translator?

“It’ll be fine, Danny. We’re going with you for a reason.”

“Rfxpqi Ixe,” he sighed, then frowned when she didn’t so much as look over. “Ixe? …Ixe?” Damn it, no! He didn’t know what she was hearing, but it clearly wasn’t what he was trying to say; Sam didn’t even glance at him. “Ixe. Ixe. Ixe. Sam!”

The whole Speeder jerked as Sam jumped. “What!”

Danny sighed in relief. “Sam. Jmoabl’t ixs Sam.”

“Whatever it is, he sure sounds happy you’re around for it,” Tucker said brightly, earning himself a solid punch in the shoulder. “Ow!”

“Rojqcp,” Danny growled.

Tucker frowned. “Rojqcp?”

Rojqcp!” Again Danny’s speech grew louder and more frustrated. “Rojqcp? Rojqcp. Rojqer. Tuckcp!”

“So much for our names,” Sam sighed, moving one hand from the wheel to Danny’s shoulder as he dropped his head into his hands with a groan.

“Ixe,” he tried. “Rojqcp. Ixe. Ixm. Sxe. Rockcp.”

The rest of the ride was quiet, save for Danny softly growling mangled Ghost and English combinations of his friend’s names.

Vlad was in the lab when they came crashing through his portal, thankfully. Crashing into Vlad himself as well, Sam and Tucker both took advantage of his surprise to leap out and use the Spector Deflector and a stolen Plasmius Maximus to disarm the older ghost.

Brushing himself off as he stood up, apparently unconcerned at the ambush, Vlad drawled, “Well, well. So early? On a school day? Whatever is it you need so urgently, children?”

Snarling, making the intent behind it if not the words themselves threatening, Sam admitted, “We need your help.”


Already in ghost form in case Vlad tried anything, Danny hoped out of the Spector Speeder and growled, “Rcaa oi’fmz rm dgd rfgi!”

Eyes widening, Vlad stared at his enemy for a long, long moment. No one spoke.

Then, slowly, Vlad began to laugh.

Edit: Now with a part two

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