well damn it, I didn’t mean to write this either

I had other things to do today phandom

this happened instead

First part: I Can’t Hear You, You’re Shouting Too Loud

Ghost Translation

I Can’t Hear You So Turn The Volume Down

By the time the man had stopped laughing, it had been long enough that the teenagers had actually dispersed to different parts of the lab, though at least one of them always kept a weapon trained on Vlad.

Sam was studying a strange glyph on the wall, one that had certain parts drawn lightly in pencil while others glowed an ectoplasmic green. Tucker was frowning at a bank of computers that didn’t seem to be wired quite correctly. Danny had picked up a pen and was cursing under his breath in Ghost as he tried and failed to write something in English- first on various pieces of scrap paper, eventually moving on to writing on the wall.

Still Vlad kept laughing. He’d calm down, then look at Danny’s handwriting and start up again.

Finally, Sam couldn’t take it anymore. She calmly hopped on the back on the Spector Speeder, took off her combat boots and threw them both at Vlad, clocking him first in the head and then in the chest.

“Talk!” Sam commanded, seething.

Vlad raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And in which axlkoxkc bm’smo’ocxl, jfgab?”

Gl’Clkagij!” Danny snarled, twisting to keep a glowing green fist pointed at Vlad.

Vlad’s smirk grew. “Oh? And why should I? You can understand both Clkagij xlb Kfmir, jmppcjr? Or is it for your friend’s sakes? They can’t understand a word you’re saying xlsenoc, jxl rfcs? Or is it that you’ve tried to teach rfce Kfmir without xps aojq?”

“Sam?” Tucker whispered, coming up around the other side of the Speeder as Danny growled incomprehensibly. “Did you get any of that?”

“Kefmeer means Ghost,” she whispered back. “They both said the word English again. I think Vlad’s just taunting us, I don’t think he’s said anything useful.”

“Oh but you don’t know, do you?” The two turned as one to see Vlad smiling at them from far closer than a moment ago, looking just as delighted as though he’d found Maddie Fenton’s phone number written somewhere in Danny’s unintelligible scrawl.  “And Daniel can’t tell you. Oh ,well, I suppose he can try.” He laughed again. “This is as enjoyable as one of my own plots, and without any of the work! Oh, I’ll give you your information all right, Daniel. And I wish you luck in sharing it!”

Danny crossed his arms and glowered at Vlad, but didn’t say anything. He’d had practice, having been finding any excuse he could not to talk to his own family for weeks. Jazz at least kind of knew what was going on and had been covering but even she could only do so much, and they hadn’t let her know just how bad things had gotten.

Vlad’s tone of voice started out conversational, but it wasn’t long before Danny was drawing back towards the portal, one slow step at a time. “I didn’t actually think you were going to have this problem, Daniel. See, it showed up far, far faster when I began gaining powers- I honestly thought you were simply going to skip by this one. Since you haven’t, the good news gi rfxr gr’i icad-agegrgk.  You’ll slip back into Clkagij rfc ixec zxs smo dgpir iagnncb glru Kfmir, likely without realizing it until it’s pointed out to you.”

It was Sam and Tucker’s turn to curse. Sam did have the presence of mind to wave Tucker into the Speeder, climbing in after him, ready to bolt for home if they needed to. Danny was between them and the portal, and they were between Danny and Vlad, but Sam kept her weapons out just in case.

“Rfc yxb lczi, fmzctcp,” Vlad continued, clearly enjoying himself. “Gi rfc rgec.  Oh it didn’t matter so much for me, not when I was in the hospital dmp im eojf amlkcp, yot dmp smo? Mf, Bxlgea.” The businessman’s eyes glinted red for an instant. “I didn’t have to worry about graduating high school, now did I? And it’s a good thing- because gr rmmq rzn scxpi ycdmpc G’jmoab jmltcouc gp English again.”

Freezing, Danny shook his head in frantic denial, breath hitching briefly. “Lm-“

“Rzn scxpi, Daniel,” Vlad repeated, thoroughly enjoying himself.

“Lm!” Danny shook his head again, voice rising. “Lm, smo’tc asglk!”

“Am I? Why would I do that?”

Lm! Smo’tc ASGLK!” A Ghostly Wail burst from Danny, throwing Vlad across the lab as Sam stepped on the accelerator and Tucker hauled Danny into the Speeder, before they floored it back towards the Fenton Portal.

Sam could swear she heard Vlad’s laughter following them.  

They drove in silence for a long while, looping around the area again when they approached FentonWorks. Tucker and Sam weren’t sure what to say, and Danny didn’t want to say anything.

“Dude?” Tucker finally said tentatively. “What did- what’d he say?”

Danny shook his head, refusing to speak. Maybe if he didn’t say anything, he could pretend this wasn’t still happening.

“Razen skuzpei,” Sam said unexpectedly, making Danny flinch. “That’s what he was saying right before you flipped out. Danny, what’s razen skuzpei mean?”

Sighing, Danny relented and gestured at Sam’s backpack until she understood what he was asking and fished out her journal. When he handed it back to her, though, his face fell as she looked at it and sighed.

She couldn’t read any of it. Fc ixgb gr’axircb rzn doaa scxpi dmp fge. Rzn scxpi! Ixe, zfxr xe G’kmllx bm?  was written shakily across nearly an entire page.

Tucker leaned over Sam to read the journal upside down, tapping on Rzn scxpi! where Danny had underlined it. “That’s what Vlad repeated, right?”

His best friend nodded fervently.

“Okay,” Tucker said, reasoning out loud. “So then- “ He moved his hand so he was pointing solely at rzn. “What’s this first word?”

“Rzn!” Danny said, frustrated. “Gr’ixsi rzn! Rzn, smo qlnz, xi gp- “ He waved two fingers past Tucker’s face, then froze and stared at his hand, hope dawning slowly on his features.

“Two!” Tucker exclaimed. “Rzn means two, right Danny?”

“Sci!” Danny exclaimed, nodding.

“So that means ‘yes,’ Sam said, parking the Speeder just inside the Ghost Zone at the Fenton Portal and grabbing the journal to write in. Rzn= Two, Sci= Yes were swiftly written in under Danny’s attempts to communicate. “So what would ‘no’ be?”

“Lm,” Danny answered immediately, looking happier than he had since before they’d gone on this doomed trip. Sam wrote that down too.

“Okay, so then what does scxpi mean?” Tucker asked, sounding the word out very slowly.

“Gr’ixsi scxpi. Of- foz bm’G- mf!” Danny grabbed the journal back, flipped to the last page and began frantically scribbling.

“A calendar?” Sam guessed.

“Sci!” He carefully marked off twelve months, then circled the whole thing and jabbed it with the pen.

“Two calendars?” Tucker said skeptically.

“No,” Sam realized out loud, horror coloring her voice. “The calendar’s not the important part. It’s years, he means two years.”

“Sci!” Danny exclaimed again, throwing down the pen and journal and throwing up his hands. “Taxb ixgb rfgi jmoab axir rxn scxpi!

“Yes, we got it!” Tucker cheered, before looking between his two friends. Neither of them looked happy. “Uh, we got it, right?’

“Oh, we got it all right, Tuck,” Sam said, her voice strained. “Vlad says Danny could be speaking Ghost for the next two years.”  

“Ixe,” Danny whispered. Sam looked over, already familiar with what her name sounded like in Ghost. “Zfxr xe G’kmllx bm?

“Okay, that one I can get from body language,” Sam exhaled deeply. “I guess you’re going to have to teach us Ghost, Danny. And we’re about to play a whole hell of a lot of both charades and Pictionary.”

————————————————————————————————————

And because the translation’s more important this time, here it is, though I think a lot of it is clear from context:

“Oh? And in which language do you mean, child?”

“In English!”

“Oh? And why should I? You can understand both English and Ghost, correct? Or is it for your friend’s sakes? They can’t understand a word you’re saying anymore, can they? Or is it that you’ve tried to teach them Ghost without any luck?”

“I didn’t actually think you were going to have this problem, Daniel. See, it showed up far, far faster when I began gaining powers- I honestly thought you were simply going to skip by this one. Since you haven’t, the good news is that it’s self-limiting.  You’ll slip back into English the same way you first slipped into Ghost, likely without realizing it until it’s pointed out to you.”

The bad news, however, is the time.  Oh it didn’t matter so much for me, not when I was in the hospital for so much longer, but for you? Oh, Daniel.  I didn’t have to worry about graduating high school, now did I? And it’s a good thing- because it took two years before I could converse in English again.”

No-“

Two years, Daniel.”

No! No, you’re lying!”

“Am I? Why would I do that?”

No! You’re LYING!”

(written in Sam’s journal) He said it lasted two full years for him. Two years! Sam, what am I gonna do

“Two. It means two! Two, you know, as in- “

“It means years. Uh- how do I- oh!”

“Vlad said this could last two years!”

“Sam. What am I gonna do?”

Part Three: I Can’t Hear You You’re Drowning Me Out

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